Sunday, 6 July 2014

Greely's story: The Lake Of Fortune

 Chapter six (continued)
A faint glimmer caught Snowflake's eye. "Come on, lets check that out!" She said.
As they approached it, it was a lake. But not any ordinary lake, it was as clear as a crystal and glimmered like the stars. Indeed this wasn't any old lake.
"Is that . . " Snowflake begun, "The lake of fortune?"
"The lake of what?"
"The lake of fortune. Legends say that if you whisper Lake of fortune and tell your question, it will answer it for you. But you have to drink it first."

"Let's try it." Said Greely.
They both slowly leaned over and took a sip. The water was the freshest they had ever tasted.
"Lake Of Fortune, will we be able to find out packs?" Snowflake said.

They waited.
"I knew it! It was all a lie, it's not true . ." Snowflake's voice faded away, as the lake begun to glow. An image formed, it was the two of them, Alpha Male and Alpha Female of a pack. 
"No, instead you will start a new pack together." A voice answered.
Suddenly with a flash, the image was gone and they where left alone on the empty, snowy, dark landscape.
"What do we do now?" Greely said.
"I don't know, but it's the two of us from now on."
As the wind howled, the two walked on the deep snow, awaiting their new future.

Chapter seven
** six months later **
The lake of fortune was correct. They both started new lives, got to know each other, and Started a new pack, called the Mt. Shiveer pack. 

The sun was peaking out of Greely's den. He emerged and stretched out as the sun shone on his back.
He looked across. The fresh kill pile was full of prey. He padded over and took a nice, plump-looking rabbit and carried it to his den.
It seemed like a pretty typical day, which in fact was not.
As soon as he took a bite into his prey, a blue spirit emerged out of the rabbit's heart and begun to take shape of a beautiful, blue heron.
"W-who are you?" Answered Greely, feeling quite shocked.
"I am Mira, goddess of Jamaa's skies."
A memory suddenly shot past him.
"Why are you here? And what is Jamaa?"
"Greely, you are the chosen wolf because of your dark powers. you have proved that you are loyal, brave, strong. You learned how to control your Dark Magic. You are the Legendary wolf."
Greely was taken aback by such words.
Mira continued - "Greely now, Jamaa is a land full of animals just like you. It used to be quite a peaceful land, but the phantoms attacked Jamaa, and now a great war is emerging. You have been chosen to be the Shaman of this land, the leader of the wolves. Jamaa needs you."
"But what about my old pack? What about the other wolves?"
"Don't worry. Greely, are you ready for this?"
"Yes . . " Greely replied.

Suddenly, there was a flash of light and Greely was there.
He stepped into the warm breeze, he felt pride as he stepped into the canyon. He was now the shaman of the wolves.
Suddenly, he saw all the wolves from the Mt. Shiveer pack standing in front of him. And he saw a face - a familiar face he hadn't seen in years. Oh, could it be? Could it be?

Tears flooded his face as they both ran to each other. it was Lupa, not a shadow anymore but a full wolf. They had finally met again.
The end


  1. That's really sweet! If you don't mind me doing a little critique, I'd just like to say some things...

    Wolf packs usually don't have fresh-kill piles, they usually join together and hunt in groups, so I think you may be confused by the wolves role-playing as Warriors... Also, I think you could have added a little bit more detail to the story and be a bit more descriptive, it is time-consuming, but don't rush through it! Don't be afraid to use more figurative language, like similes and metaphors, or even hyperboles would work! I hope that you don't take this personally, I'm not trying to be mean, I just want to help!

    1. I know, but i just wanted to add a fresh-kill pile. Anything's possible in stories. :3

  2. Flufffycybunny:oh wow what a great story cloudclaws!

    from flufffycybunny

  3. this is so awesome!!! are greely and lupa mates, or are greely and snowflake mates? no idea xD

  4. Hi, It's me again. It had a sweet ending, but, if you don't mind me saying ...... maybe a little more realistic influence should be put into it. How about continuing it to make it even better?

  5. Like always a happy ending.


  6. Also since Greely and Snowflake start a pack I can do my roleplay thing.

  7. I like it, but... It's kinda weird for the dark wolf alpha....

  8. Cloudclaws..... Oh.... I'm emotional now... YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I CRIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AUGHHHHHH!!!!! Soooo sweet :,)


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